HEHE

2008-03-28T22:09:00.002+08:00

"Save You"

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door
You’ll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It’s Just skins and bones
There’s nothing left to take
No matter what I do I can’t make you feel better

If only I could find the answer
To help me understand
if you fall, stumble down
I’ll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I’ll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause
I’ll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I’ll be there for you
If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there’re so many things that I want you to know
I won’t give up till it’s over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

will you save me?

2007-09-22T17:08:00.000+08:00

Throw it away

Forget yesterday

We'll make the great escape

We won't hear a word they say

They don't know us anyway

Watch it burn

Let it die

Cause we are finally free tonight

- Boys like girls: The great escape

the above is so true. and yes, i will forget you.

2007-09-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

do you know?

everyday i think about you.
everyday i think about how to make things go well with you.
and every ouch of energy i have, i put my heart and soul to do the things you wanted.
sometimes you made my day..
sometimes i thought of giving up on you because everything i did was to no avail.. meaningless to hold on to you,
but i am still not beated.. i would still hold on to you my dear...

written report! :)

OH MY GOD. written report to be handed in this wednesday.. gonna work harder!

2007-09-16T03:40:00.000+08:00

"eh.. FES leh.."
"how come your post stopped at NDP?"
"no updates?"

wah lao.. heard enough of those things. here i am, blogging a what-the-hell-oh-my-god-long-time-no-post entry. haha.. okok.. i will try to be less lazy from now. updating frequently for my dearest who cares about me to read about what's going on.

life has never been that great since that day. the day when the truth was finally conveyed to each other, which i eventually wanted myself to have what's kept deep down my heart to end that night. good luck to you in the future. we may or may not meet again.. but in case we meet someday, somehow, will you still smile at me?

anyway, ytd i stayed back in sch for some moon cake festival night together with a bunch of friends. i guess we were too bored that we decided to roam around the school to hunt for some 'excitement', which turned out to be 'experiencing'. LOL.. some of my friends became paranoid and they became very sensitive to things going around them and they tell me.. "wah.. i am so scard now.. later go home still need to walk a long way leh." on a lighter note, we also spent sometime in Leaders' Network to watch Bleach movie: Memories of nobody and 不能说的秘密 that was screened from my friend's laptop was totally kick-ass.. and of course, with those comfy sofas, nicely designed spacious room and cooling air condition, our minds were free from troubles for that moment. got home around 11pm plus. damn tired but still need to do WR. but no choice la.. wednesday is the official submission deadline. It's our last chance to fight for the grade we wanted. so might as well give it your best shot right?

and what the hell, spending tml's time wholely(perhaps) on pw.. lots of homework not done.. how? what to do? pw or homework? in 2 weeks time, it's promos for my friends. even though i need not take promos under the FES scheme, but i felt that something needs to be done to stop myself from indulgement in slacking. staying back and helping my friends was what i thought was gonna be useful, but first, i gotta start digging into revision first la!
and also, going mediacorp for attachment during the upcoming holidays. would be a long stay there.. really looking forward to it liao.. hopefully can have a chance to get closer to music. yay~~

2007-08-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

oh ya.. HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!

PROUD to be a singaporean.

This is home, truely, where i know i must be. This is where, i won't be alone. For this is where, i know.. i'm HOME.

2007-08-09T17:01:00.000+08:00

SECRET? what's the secret in the movie secret? i've unrevailed the secret. have you?

2007-08-04T01:16:00.000+08:00

oh gosh, common test was such a disaster this time i think. don think i am gonna maintain that 'A'-cy result slip at the end of term 3. LOL. but anyways, had fun today after physics common test with more classmates this time round! hope to see more class activities going on. New faces, please join us! we don wan to face the same old people again and again in each outing. :)

next week is kinda a mixture of feelings for me. because next week confirm getting back all results.. so fast la! but at the same time, some holidays for me to reflect on anything that i want to, most likely goals that was not reached. may this be a turning point for me.

2007-07-25T22:34:00.000+08:00

The truth is tearing up my heart
I can''t recognize this place
The endless road without a stop sign
Can''t even find a stranger this time.
Why am i still holding back my tears?
In this loneliness there''s nothing to fear.
Every chord still seems a wonder, how we could be together
Every time i ask if this would be the last?
Why am i still talking to myself?
Hoping you will have the keys to my cell?
Every song might calm the weather but it just draws me deeper
How do i get out of this I think i never will . . .

haha.. random

2007-07-10T22:26:00.000+08:00

WAH!!! so busy recently with all the things coming along the way. PW.. Common test.. work and assignments! hardly even have time to blog anyway.. haha..

i found out recently that there's a change in your life. Well, good in the sense. At least you found someone better, or shall i say, someone whom won't let you feel the same as how we ended up feeling for each other about 2 years ago.. if you still remember.
i am not ranting. not ranting about this varying, sudden surge, outbrust of emotions... argh! whatever you call that. it's just that it still make me to feel something when i happen to know some updates about you.

if you're reading this, i really wanna tell u that, time is not a factor when it comes to forgetting things, moments and people.. like you. it has always been like this since that night, you know?
getting kinda emo nowadays. maybe due to so many happenings around me.. happy, sad, wadever, it doesn't matter anymore. everything stopped because of what i know about you.

this post is everything about you, you, YOU! Take it as, a confession of a broken heart, if you like to.

2007-06-14T00:08:00.000+08:00

oh my! what an interesting small and unofficial kbox outing with apple, rain, yi qian and korean guy. we went to marina square's kbox and we're given a very big room. so we all started singing. when it's my turn, i realised my throat is like frozen or something. it took me an additional ounce of strength just to force out a high pitch voice. because before that, i drank one HUGE cup of icy lemon tea while having lunch at Carl's Jr. and i sound so not good as such.

i heard rain don really sing. Everytime he is in kbox, he would either sing a sentence or so. then he would avoid singing already. But this time, we managed to convince him to sing for the whole session! and yes.. he kept singing! and we found out, he is 张冻梁's big fan and he kept K-ing his songs. just like how i kept singing SUPERMAN's song. haha

later, the waiter served in the our 2nd cup of drinks while we were singing SHIN's 死了都要爱.. as the waiter begins to leave the room, everything on his tray fell horribly loud on the floor under the pull of gravity. It created an artistic splash of strawberry and chocolate milkshake on the floor, the walls, sofa and APPLE's bag. WTH. it totally stopped us from singing further. and then we requested for another room so that they can do cleaning up. As the saying goes.. 因祸得福, another room was assigned to us and this time, it's a room which is 10X better in atmosphere and appearance of the room compared to the previous. everyone then got so excited over the new room. we're damn lucky to get such good room, CLEAN and NICELY done for us.

as this is really just an unofficial class outing, some of the classmates wasn't aware or was not asked to come down and join us. for that, i felt a certain sense of regret. but if i were to ask more people to join us, then most of us won't be able to enjoy ourselves to the fullest like what we had today. As such, A PROMISE- an official kbox outing perhaps before the end of the holidays. LET's ROCK.

point to take note: if you drink too much, don't sing. LOL

2007-06-12T00:32:00.000+08:00

SELF-MOTIVATION.. it's a practice, not a believe.
SELF-DISCPLINE.. it's within one's mind. But still, it's also a practice, not a believe.

difference between the two? - CHOICE.

everyday you have a choice of what to do and what not to do. It's the choice that you make that makes you different because, we choose what's best for ourselves.

SELF-DISCPLINE relates itself to choice but not SELF-MOTIVATION. You can say you choose to self-motivate yourself. But, how you really choose to self-motivate yourself? what you can do is motivate yourself but not self-motivate yourself. therefore, it's a practice in any moment of our lives, that we practice self-motivation.

SELF-DISCPLINE, is a choice...
you can control and choose not to play today but another day to stay focused on your revision. clearly, this is self-discpline.

and these are what i am practising in daily life. what about you?

2007-06-08T17:50:00.000+08:00

my dad recently bought a Nikon D40X professional camera for his photography class. The camera cost a bomb! was shocked after hearing the price was at a staggering $1499. haha.. and the way he hold the camera just gives you the impression that the camera is going to drop anytime from now and you got that cold sweat rolling down your back when he's operating the camera. please! you don want your camera to drop on the floor. so please listen to how we advise you to hold the camera! and at the same time, he is working hard to establish a better relationship with technology to find back this long lost friend. LOL. and oh ya, don anyhow take snapshots of me man. if you want my photo dad, i'll send you cause i have lots of good looking picture of myself other than those you took which is not as good. HAHA.

2007-06-05T01:59:00.000+08:00

it's been awhile since i last blog. it's 1 week into the holidays already and yet, i don feel relaxed or whatsoever. kinda boring recently man.. stucked at home and facing my computer other than my homework is like waste of time! the feeling isn't great when u're just like killing ur time with useless, meaningless and unpurposeful activities such as gaming. LOL. and i need to change that attitude from today onwards, and thats for sure. ive made up my mind.

but not forgetting kboxing with my friends last week, 30th may at JEC. initially it was 8 enthusiastic people agreeing to come to join in the fun. but then,

it became the fantastic FOUR! how sad.

but never sad with all the fun we had.

2007-05-25T18:51:00.001+08:00

recently there has been some kind of CAT invasion in my school. what i meant was that you could expect to see cats walking around, lazing on the pathway to the canteen, cats jumping on chairs and apprarently stealing the seats from us in the crowded canteen and also taking a stroll in the synthetic field during our morning assembly which causes quite a bit of commontion(girls especially). LOL. some pictures to share which i took recently on this cat invasion thingy. haha..

A stroll on the field this morning during our morning assembly. WTH!

Love at first sight. cute huh? :)

Still smitten with the sight of each other.

in fact, their presence made school life a little lighter for us. *meow*

and oh ya.. a random post here.

can u believe what u see i highting inside the red oval? this is a picture taken at a kbox in town area of staffs hanky-pankying while working. somemore they didn't at the front counter as if it's a norm. LOL.. that guy also did touched that female staff all over, which me and my group of friends saw. haha.. are they couples? most probably i guess? haha..

2007-05-23T17:09:00.000+08:00

my comp is finally okay. for good.

2007-05-20T01:42:00.000+08:00

omg omg.. my comp's hardisk crashed. and now resorting to using my bro's laptop to blog. but never mind. it happened for a reason. perhaps its a signal for me to focus more on my work rather than spending much time on the computer. gotta be off the net till next wednesday till HP send their techs here. ;(

2007-05-13T21:22:00.000+08:00

ok.. just repaired some technical error on my blog.. should be okay now liao.. haha..

ytd was sports heats! i went for tug of war.. helped the J2s and J1s because they not enough ppl. and gosh, i never knew it was so tiring after 4 rounds of muscle tearing competition with the rest of the houses, but i ENJOYED IT.. haha.. and now, having muscle aches here and there. LOL. an indication to me how long i never exercise liao..

gonna have lots of test for the next few weeks because all the teachers trying to squeeze the test before holidays come. GOTTA STUDY!

2007-05-11T23:49:00.000+08:00

"not really".. said by YOU. it hurts me so.. i am not sure how come this came hitting me again. triggered memories which i hid deep behind my mind. but somehow, i took the pieces up again and cleared the dust that covered those days. well well.. those days.. those days.. days which me and perhaps u will never forget. but i guess, u'll be the one to forget first.

AM I RIGHT?

2007-05-07T20:59:00.000+08:00

shit.. i injured my foot while having napfa test today.. shuttle run until to excited already then somehow when sprinting to get the last block, i sprain my foot. although it doesn't feel painful now, but it feels wierld. The movement of my foot now a bit stiff like that. think i am not gonna be going for 2.4km run tml. But if i miss it, it would mean i would suffer more the next time i attempt the 2.4 run because i am too lazy to train running. and 1 week of no running.. how to expect myself to pass well? HOW? GO FOR IT OR NOT?

2007-05-04T23:32:00.000+08:00

today is the FIRST time i attending my badminton CCA, which is also my 2nd cca.. haha.. well, been busy for the past few weeks so practically skipped it. luckily i got helpful friends who knows wad to do.. hehe..

well, those ppl in my class who also joined badminton as their cca was so enthu today la.. comparing the rackets, trying to see who's the best etc.. haha.. and i found out my class got a few people using the same brand as me.. surprising enough for me to blog on it because nobody normally chooses this brand, trusting this brand that their badminton career wouldn't be dashed. HAHA..

Left to right: Vonvon's, melvin's and MINE =)

anyway, i left badminton around 4.30pm which is suppose to end later than that okay... well, at least i enjoyed myself.. :) badminton was great.

2007-05-02T21:34:00.000+08:00

found out something that really caught me by surprise. one of my friend ever since he went into PJ, he's a changed person. really. and what i mean? well, wad i know of him is a shy and low-profile boy but no doubt, friendly and nice. Not till yesterday when i was out with him to catch spiderman 3, he shared with us a recent experience he had with another girl, pamela, in his class.. a rather extraordinary experience. When he told me yesterday, he said he was just out of a FLING. and wad's surprising is not only he is involved in FLING, but also did something more than FLING- involviig physical contact. okay.. i am not trying to be paranoid abt that since it's so common nowadays. but i don know.. what could have changed him so much? WHAT?

i asked him.. what happened? the expected answer came out from his mouth.. " I don't know."

i got back home and did a reflection.. trying to analyse what could have happened to him. Let me put what i have analysed into a senario.. a used bottle thrown into the dustbin. yeah.. thats that.

i asked my friend again, you know what you're doing? He replied " i don know.. i really don't. I've started to hate myself for all this."

confused.

2007-04-30T22:38:00.000+08:00

omg.. i got a friend who juz told me that got one girl like her.. some kind of homosexual thing going on and she says she hate it. and she even burst into tears for that thing to happen to her.. hope things gonna be fine..

anyway, spidey's coming to singapore tml in theaters! watching with my friends tml.. haha! so excited.. can't wait for it..

it takes 3 seconds for a person to fall in love with another.

2007-04-23T17:35:00.000+08:00

it was raining cats and dogs with lightning striking across the sky every 2 minds just now around 3.30pm. i was at my last lesson, PC and i don think the condition were right for any activites. Then one female teacher talked to us. Initially she was like reluctant to release us early because it's raining, and if anything happens, it would be her fault. then i told the teacher, " WE NEED TO DO OUR PI LAH!". my words caught the attention of the teacher and because of that, everyone started agreeing and asking the teacher to release us not because we wanted to go home but because we need to do our PI which is to be submitted this coming thursday. HAHA. and of course, the teacher let us go.

i am proud to say something..

i saved more than 100 people from getting drenched and tired because of PC on a rainy day. HAHA

hope the PI i submitted gets accepted.. may the force be with me!

2007-04-22T18:48:00.000+08:00

"When You're Gone"

I always needed time on my own

I never thought I'd need you there when I cry

And the days feel like years when I'm alone

And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now

I've never felt this way before

Everything that I do reminds me of you

And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor

And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now

We were made for each other

Out here forever

I know we were, yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know

Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul

I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

[Chorus]

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok

I miss you

really.. when you're gone. i miss you, badly.

2007-04-20T21:17:00.000+08:00

WOW! survived the 5-test-in-a-week tortue. Last wednesday was chem test, thursday was GP, MT and MATHS and today, MATHS again! well.. hopefully can do well and be eligible for Full Exemption Scheme(FES) which means no need to take promos! haha..

and lately, i learnt something.

sometimes, the biggest event is defined by the simplest encounter in our life.

and this is so true. Do you agree?

2007-04-14T20:49:00.000+08:00

you know why i chong bai cao ge? haha.. watch this..

2007-04-12T19:22:00.000+08:00

it's a choice that i am still struggling with. A choice between passion and self-encouragement. I am not sure whether the feedbacks from my friends were to a great extend, true reflections of my ability. Perhaps the encouragement they gave was just a white lie? Or rather, a chance for them to make me into a laughing stock. LOL..it's kinda wierld for me to join this kind of thing. perhaps i don look like one of them who dreams about being the main focus of all adolesence. but anyway, it's never too late before 25th April.

WEST ZONE SUPERSTAR.. A PASSION OF MINE WHICH I THINK NEEDS NO VALUED JUDGEMENT AT THIS MOMENT!

though 12(and still counting) said i should go for it! :)

2007-04-04T21:26:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROY! You're now officially 18 and losing your virgin is what you long awaited right? You can lose it anytime from now. haha!
well, got roy a card and another present which he would receive at a later time. hope he likes it.

today had yoga lesson. INTERESTING i should say.. haha.. with all those funny posture, it is said to facilitate our memory power and reduce stress level. hard to believe anyway because i know something true.. there's this posture that needs us to lie down on the floor and close our eyes. Concentrate our minds on our breathing. Well, up to this step still okay. But then, after 2 mins or so, i am falling asleep already. LOL.. and perhaps, this is one way we could 'relieve' stress.. which is actually sleeping and they made it to some posture for us to RELIEVE stress. LOL!

and i also found out xxxxx got new boyfriend! good for her.
at least, hope that her old memories doesn't cloud around her new relationship like last time anymore.

2007-03-31T03:19:00.000+08:00

I am serious about the following issue that i am going to make.

You will be there when i am down

You will be there when i am happy.

You are an angel speaking into my ears,

lifting every weight that's on my shoulders.

Your voice is the power of life

and your words are the promises of a better tomorrow.

I can't imagine a day without hearing you beside me.

because only you, could make me complete!

紧紧拥抱唯一的你. 无可救药的坚定.

就是世界与我为敌, 我也愿意, 我什么都愿意.

gary曹格! 我不能失去你. YOU ROCK! RAH!

2007-03-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

1 week in JJ already! Lots of things happened during the 1 week. From meeting new friends and adjusting to the same frequency as them to even explaining to the school admin people that they have made some mistakes which almost led me to being posted to another class. My new friends are generally easy-going but then, they are still rather foreign to me. anyway, it takes time to further refine these new friendship forged. And of course, there are things which kinda sadden me. I don know if some people are there purposely to put me in shame or wad. asking me questions that sounded offensive to me but not to them in front of the rest. What i did was just ignore them and gave them an half past six reply. No use to be fustrated with all these things because, i simply don care. YOU TRIED TO MAKE ME WEAKER, NOT KNOWING THAT YOU'RE THE WEAKEST LINK.

雨, 不停落下來. 花, 怎麼都不開. 儘管我細心灌溉, 你說不愛就不愛. 我一個人, 欣賞悲哀.
愛, 只剩下無奈. 心, 有一句感慨. 我, 還能夠跟誰對白? 在你關上門之前, 替我再回頭看看. 那些片段, 還在不在? 我, 一直不願再去猜. 鋼琴上黑鍵之間, 永遠都夾著空白. 缺了一塊, 就不精采.
緊緊相依的心如何Say goodbye? 你比我清楚還要我說明白. 愛太深會讓人瘋狂的勇敢. 我用背叛自己, 完成你的期盼. 把手放開不問一句Say goodbye. 當作最後一次對你的溺爱. 冷冷清清淡淡今後都不管.

只要你能愉快.

2007-03-17T18:28:00.000+08:00

oh gosh.. so fast saturday already. 1 week ago, i was just back from camp and now, school holidays ending soon. Mix feelings abt school's reopening, excited and nervous. Contradictory huh? Excited because i am gonna meet new classmates,whichI REALLY HOPE is a good bunch of people and nervous because i don know how things would work out there. Well at least i've been trying to enjoy myself to the fullest during these holidays. Just enough to get myself prepared for the new challenges.

2007-03-13T11:57:00.000+08:00

I came back from JJ's Orientation camp last saturday and i thought the camp was tiring but at the same time, very enriching for me. It is because i was once a camper, then an OGL and now, a camper again. I get to see and most importantly, feel things from the position of an OGL and a camper. I get to see how these 2 core components of a camp works and intereact together, which contributed to the success of the camp.

Orientation really struck me hard. It's not all the fun and games we had. It is what i have learnt from the camp. That is the Sense Of Appreciate.

During the last day of the camp, Mr leow conducted the debreif for all of us. He then started to share with us his story about his mom blah blah. He also covered a little bit of the people working hard behind the scene and what they had gone through and also a girl who managed to get a relatively good L1R5 but could't stay in JJ because her parents didn't want her to. Why?It was because her parents know that if she is under stress, she would be fall ill. Her parents wanted to respect her decision of staying in JJ but out of kind intentions, her parents wanted her to go to poly instead just to let her daughter to be free from sufferings when she is sick under stress.
It was not until the end of the debreif when mr leow ask everyone of us some simple question. These question aren't simple in any ways because it made us think and of course, getting into the state of tearing, which i did. I recalled the incident back in 2005. I failed to appreciate that person because i always take for granted that she would always be there for me. and now, when i look back at it, i feel that i am such a lousy person.
anyway, hope my new school, new friends of class 07S17 would be a good one after the march holidays. But meanwhile, should spend some time with my friends before hectic school life starts. haha..

" Do you know why flowers are beautiful? It is because they die. "
" When's the last time you held your parent's hands? "
" When's the last time you let your parents know that they are appreciated? "

- Questions of life,

Will never forget them. Forgetting would be tantamount to forgetting sense of appreciation.

2007-03-06T16:02:00.000+08:00

WEEEEE!! I'VE GOTTEN WHAT I WANT!

2007-02-14T16:44:00.000+08:00

HAPPY VALTENTINE’s DAY!

Woo.. Today was such a blast. Firstly, wanna thank all my friends for all the greetings and gifts for me and I apologize for the fact that I didn’t prepare anything for you guys. :X

Well, I recalled valentine’s day 1 year ago was devastating for me. A relationship which I cherished so so much ended after initiation by the other party. Breakup on valentine’s.. crap.. BUT, if not for this, I wouldn’t be a strong character like what I am today. =)

Anyway, today I skipped cca AGAIN for the third time of the year. But this time I skipped cca after knowing that my cca would be involve in CNY celebration back stage duty other than the common reason which I always have- laziness. LOL.. and please! I had a rich 4 years experience in doing backstage stuffs. I don’t want to make it 5 years! I would rather spend my valuable time with my friends down the stage to enjoy the last 2 weeks of time in this current school. After which, I would be moving on to my dream school already. ]

But anyway, even though CNY isn’t here yet, eating CNY delicacies such as ba kua was such an enjoyment not only for me, but my brother too. and I think, it’s time for dad to refill the container with more ba kua already. It's only left with a piece for you. Haha!

2007-02-11T13:33:00.000+08:00

yes! The force was with me and i've gotten what i wanted!

THANK GOD!

B3 for both english and combine humanities, despite all the elements ranging against me, i went against all odds and now, attaining a commendable score enough to reach my goal. i know i know, end of one chapter and the start of a new one because i made a choice which appeared to be potentially tiring. My friends and all who made the choice are all ranting over it, because it is seriously wearing them down bit by bit. Well, i know the consequences and i am ready to write the next chapter. i am sure with the support of the friends i'll meet in the future and those warming arms of the 'heart'-touching teachers i would be welcomed to would serve as a great motivation for me to seek greater heights.

Thanks to following confidants, namely, My family, Roy, Ai Ting, Michelle, Yong Ching, Ben, Si yun, Xin yuan, GTS, Jiamin, suwen, jason, weiyang, Ji Quan, Joel, Ms Nora
You all were part of my motivation during the times whereby i thought i was all alone to fight for my goals. you all bought me throught the excruciating times i have to go through.

i was walking under a sky of stars along a beach. It was a long and tiring journey. A journey without a stop sign and you all came beside me and started the magic of encouragement. I looked back at the trails i left behind on the sandy beach and only noticed a pair of them. It's because you all are ONE who carried me throughout this journey.

My dearest friends and family,

THANK YOU

- from the deepest part of my heart.

2007-02-02T23:35:00.000+08:00

YAY! i am back to blogging after 2 weeks plus. :)

anyway, been doing well in life, both with friends and my work. having body ache especially my arms and abs. i think i overworked them so as to perform better for pull up and standing board jump which my school requires us to pass that ridiculous 230cm. may sound easy for some of you but to me, if i stop training for a while, i'll definately won't do better than 230cm which means, they will group me into some kind of intensive training group, and i really don't want that planned for me.

common test starting next week, which JJ's Love Feista FunFair came clashing with my revision plannings. and the fun fair is tomorrow! i'm still unsure whether to make a trip down or not. maybe yes.. maybe not going for it..
Next week would also be somewhat a week which determines my fate because results coming real soon(heard it's coming out on Friday, 9th Feb).

may the force be with me. Really want to do well this time round.

JJ! JJ! JJ! JJ~~

2007-01-14T13:43:00.000+08:00

recently, my phone spoiled for some reason and it had been sent for repair work. the bad news is, i am only going to get back my phone next saturday! shit la.. that's a crushing news for me but i have no choice.. i gotta use my warranty to repair it and not until after 18th feb when my warranty period is over.. and for the time being.. stucked with my old nokia phone.. sad.. well, an update for today. will be posting another post soon(i hope so).. haha

2007-01-07T17:24:00.000+08:00

The Alchemy Of Life - That was the JJ’s theme for 2007 PAE Orientation Camp. But sad to say, it would be the last PAE orientation as the PAE program would be removed starting next year. Marking the end of a chance for tertiary-students-to-be to experience the college life at a pace which might be very deceiving compared to the real fact. so is that good or bad? haha

Anyways, I attended jj nite last friday with roy to see how things went and of course, to enjoy and embrace in the fun. Initially, I felt a bit left out perhaps I wasn’t in the fun where everybody was cheering and stuffs. Sitting down and looking at all of them was really torturous. I doubt roy did because he was all the while busy smsing someone. Well, that was the start but in the end, it went quite well. Fun finally existed for me when all the happenings started in the hall... Dancing and moving each and every joint on our body, singing our lungs out, cheering so loud like there’s no next time and watching performances put up by OGLs of various families which was simply superb. Woo~ fun Fun FUN! By the way suwen, thanks for the pang sey.

I left jj nite immediately after the song singing part. Initially I was walking around to look for that someone to tell her something but I didn’t manage to find her. Knowing that it was almost impossible to find that 1 person out of 700 plus people in the dark, I left the hall with roy feeling kinda disappointed. But I saw the people I wanted to see, talk to the people I wanted to talk to and of course, did not all but most of the things I wanted to do. Thanks to my friends for those unexpected ways of welcoming me back that night. I’m sure I enjoyed myself that night.

JJ NITE ROCKS.

2007-01-02T19:06:00.000+08:00

New year, new resolutions, new hope and of course, here's a new POST but on 2nd JAN 2007. suppose to make a post yesterday but was too busy with stuffs.

Year 2006 was a great but i hope year 2007 would be better. i shall do some reflections on 2006 another time because it's too much to talk about and i really want to take some time to recall and plan my writeups especially for January-March 2006. This period of time, it was heavenly, one of the best life experiences i had and i'll never forget.
My new year resolutions are simple.. Stay healthy and happy always. I won't want another mistake in life anymore.

anyways, school's reopening tomorrow and i'm not excited at all. Seriously, MI. isn't great and i would want to get out of it as soon as possible even though it has just moved to a new campus with great facilities(i think). But ultimately, it's not the new school campus that matters to me. It's what made up the school that matters and that's what i always tell my friends when they told me to be proud of the new campus.

" It's not the place where the stars line up. It's not where the oceans would touch. "

May the golden opportunity fall on me during Feb when i get back my results and that, would seriously save me from lots of trouble. JJ/PJ, would be considered soon enough. May the force be with me.

matters aside, i really think that GARY CAO GE is really good. I recently bought his new album, superman, which was very good especially when you're feeling down, i'm sure listening and embrace in his tunes would definitely lift your mood up. and here's something i wanna share with you guys.

i was at BPP that day where i bought his album where i encountered a scam. I headed down to the basement of BPP and went straight into the shop beside the VCD/DVD rental shop because i thought i would definitely need to pay a cheaper price compared to CD Rama inside popular to buy cao ge's new album. When i was there at the shop, i was shocked to see the price rocketed to $22.90. I immediately decide to give up that idea of buy his album there. So i went to CD rama and it was a total shock for me because the price at CD Rama was just $17.95. What the hell is going on man? and i am sure that shop which sells his album at $22.90 didn't have any free gifts that comes along with the album. So why it cost so much more compared to CD Rama's price? Lesson learnt is that we must be careful with the choice we make. Comparison just doesn't do any harm even though it might get a bit tedious at times. Typical singaporeans huh? HAHA!

2006-12-25T02:32:00.000+08:00

i spent a bulk of time reading some of my friend's blog and i had the following reflections.

i wonder.. how come my life is so empty? empty without exposure of the real world and what's the real enjoyment.
i wonder.. how did i make it through all these incredible roller coaster ride for me in life? and i am sure, there's more to come.
i wonder.. if i could be better?
i wonder.. if i could be stronger?
i wonder.. if this is the way i want to live?
i wonder.. what's going on with me after reading those blogs..
i wonder.. if my emotions are running too wild tonight?
i wonder.. if i could overcome whatever that's bothering me now..

i wonder..

2006-12-21T18:32:00.000+08:00

YAY! I'm officially 17 since ytd, 20 DEC 2006!

wanna say a big thank you to those who remembered my birthday yesterday and i really appreciate all the wishes u all gave me. For those who got the date wrong like someone(erhmm), or have already forgotten about it, it's okay.. i know deep down your heart, perhaps there's this intention of wishing me but juz happen that u forgot. haha..

thanks to the flooding caused by a cup turn over after a knock by my wrist yesterday on my table, my mouse is now haywired! having so much problems just to scroll and move the cursor around. ;(

and today, i was on a blind date mission! haha.. nah, i'm not the one on the blind date BUT it's my younger cousin who's having. A primary 6 young kid, turning sec 1 next year, so young got a chance to have blind date. i am impressed by his social skills, being able to know a girl of a different school through an online game, audition, and extending his love and concern to this girl, janessa, not knowing whether this new friend is a good company or not. But one thing for sure is that my cousin wants to know whether janessa is of his type or not. haha.. went to westmall in the afternoon with my brother and younger cousin. Upon reaching that place, adrenaline seems to be taking it's effects on my younger cousin. He starts to get nervous or rather, overly excited. haha.. so i asked my cousin the following,
ME: " eh, where and when you're gonna meet your dream girl ah?"
cousin: " now lor.. i told her about 12pm at westmall library"
*i took a quick glance at my watch*
ME: " wah piang, you're awfully late la.. now it's 12.15pm already leh.. u expect to let your DREAMMM GIRL wait?"
cousin: "aiya, heck la.. i told her.. ABOUT 12pm what.. so, i am not late."
ME: " what the.."

again i must say, the world is changed. now the girls wait for the guys already. haha.. is that good or bad? i think it's up to the individuals to judge.

later, we embarked on a plan to look at the situation inside the library. 3 of us decided to pretend that we don know each other and we would split up and search the different corners of the library for suspicious girls. haha.. well, simply because my cousin doesn't have the chance to look at the picture of her dream girl.

i walked in the library and 2 young girls caught my attention. They are behaving in such a wierldo manner because i saw one of the girls starring at me and then she let out a cheeky smile. as if it's like i am the one she's looking for. i was like.. come on la.. don waste time anymore my dear cousin, i know who they are already. you're not gonna like them. my cousin was like.. where? where?

don wish to further elaborate this blind date mission anymore. those girls are simply a turn off not only for me, but for my younger cousin too. first thing, their childish-ness and naive nature. GOSH. they thought everything would be a perfect picture for them like what they could imagine in their minds but sad to say, reality gave them a kick on their butt.
Cousin:" wah lao.. she sucks la.. "

obviously, one look at those girls for my cousin was a total day spoiler for him. His mood was completely on a downfall. something like the aftermath of a lost battle, devastated, disappointed and crestfallen. We quickly left the place and went off to causeway point after our quick and snappy lunch. damn.. wasted my time just to keep my younger cousin feel safe for this blind date.

BUT later on at causeway, i didn't feel my time was wasted at all!
because along the way there, i saw a lot of friends hanging out at causeway point. a look at them just lift my spirits.

things aside, movie tml with my family. Curse of the golden flower. Looking forward to it already! i am sure i am gonna enjoy. it would be a not a movie ticket i would be holding when i step in front of the entrance of the theatre. Instead, it's a ticket to many surprises. :)

2006-12-12T00:06:00.000+08:00

Was out the whole day with JJ OG 27[PAE]. At the end of the day, 7 ppl attended. How sad? But it went alright eventually though there were a few do-nothing-and-walk-aimlessly moments. haha.. anyway, those ppl who never came they missed out quite a lot of fun. Jef was tired, so he quit halfway our outing because he's just back from malaysia yesterday and hasn't gotten enough sleep all the while.

There's this incident that happened in the train while we're on our way to holland V. The train was jammed packed with people and leaves no choice but to squeeze with everyone else in the train. Here it what happened. There's this man with a bad day got in the train and squeezing each other and standing shoulder to shoulder was inevitable. This causes the people around him to be more uncomfortable. Out of the blue, one person scolded, "cibai lah!", which is a comment for being uncomfortable. The man who got fustrated upon hearing suddenly raised his voice and had the following conversation with that person..

Man with bad day: "eh, why you scold me? scold me fun ah?"
Man with bad day: "Fcuk you la.. cib*i.."
Man with bad day:"this train so many people, squeeze abit cannot ah?"
That person:"sorry lah!"
Man with bad day:"sorry? eh, you very unsincere you know? scold people cib*i.. fcuk you la.." (broken english.. it's insincere not un-sincere)
*the train reached the next stop and slows down*
*the man tried to maintain balance by grabbing people's shoulder beside him.*
*that person who's shoulder was grabbed by that man showed a pissed facial expression*
Man with bad day: "eh, hold your shoulder cannot ah? unless you girl la, then i die already la."
Man with bad day:"eh, you scold me cib*i.. come out now la.. why? don't dare come out ah? dare to scold people don dare to come out. Fcuk you la"

That person eventually alighted at the stop and that man, who initially asked him to come out himself stayed in the train. LOL.. what the hell.. talk only.. no action. haha.. anyway, this incident cause a lot of tension in the train and juli, was kinda affected. almost cried eventually because of the strong smell of testosterone filling the air. Nice experience, will never forget this.

and gosh, my og mates, all thirsty for some updates for my relationship status. ask this and that.. arhhh~~ irritates me lots. but somehow i got through it.. haha.. i'll keep all my evidence away from anyone if i have any with me next time. Lesson learnt, will never let it happen again.

anyway, JJ OG 14[JAE] outing has been postponed due to lots programs clashes our og mates have outside. Will have updates about this again soon.

2006-12-09T15:31:00.000+08:00

starting to get paranoid over ch**a people. find them sneeky and cunning at times. gotta get myself armed and prevent being influenced and fooled by their tricks especially with PW next year! Those in MI are gonna be my primary targets and they would not be prying me deep down to the core. brutal huh? oh wells, i think i got this feeling ever since my bro bought a product of theirs. it's sucked totally.. but anyway, it's just a feeling that may be bias.

and i need to stop procrastinating. Those holiday assignment can't have an snowball effect. I MUST get right up on my feet again, start the momentum to thrive for new heights and reach upon the stars, never to fail myself again.

anyway, enjoyment with my fellow OGs next week.

Monday with JJ OG 27 and on thursday, with JJ OG 14. got a bad feeling about the attendance. it's not going to be pleasing but let me keep my finger crossed that it would be an enjoyable outing, making this famous tagline right,

" Quality not quantity."

as days of december passes, i am one step closer to the day i'm 17. yay! it's near, real near.

2006-11-30T18:37:00.000+08:00

So where's your point? LOL

hmm..something stole our attention from the camera.

roy, yellow yellow dirty fellow!

Roy and me =)

Joel~~

woah~ Nice cups you've got huh? XD

Class Outing on 18th NOV was a blast. It's a ticket to many surprises even though the fun just started in the night. Shall have another one next time.

2006-11-30T00:32:00.000+08:00

I’m want to feel freedom.
Freedom from those meddlesome.

You thought everything you did was a success
But so sorry, I dashed your plans and you’re now distressed.
You tried hard to amend it, but I don think you got any chance.
As I shut my eyes, it’s meant to kiss you goodbye.
And don cry when you know it’s time for me to leave your mind,
Closing doors and seperating everything of yours and mine.

Enough of those intentions and making false assumptions of my actions in front of you.
Draw a gun and pop it,
And I throw all the pieces into a closet.

i don’t know how should I tell you.
Seriously towards you, I don have any feel.
Refrain myself from you is what I’ve decided,
And never shall any pain be repeated.

2006-11-16T17:01:00.000+08:00

i am back with blogging. finally, haha..

yesterday suppose to be joining amanda and her bunch of outgoing friends for a badminton game but sad la, got class in the evening. i hope i could make it the next time because i am sure, i don wanna miss what i ought not to. haha..

well, so many things happened in front of my eyes. i couldn't believe what i have heard. i couldn't believe what i have seen and i couldn't accept what i felt. It really caught my surprise when i got to know what i am not suppose to. but to that person who i am talking about(i hope you know), take care and good luck man. You have heard my comments and advise. It's all up to you to decide what you really want. There are choices available for you. It's not the end. But any path that you're taking is really going to wear you out but i think, you would be able to make it in the end. and i won't be wrong about the always optimistic you, right? :)

today i suddenly got an urge to do chemistry despite all the discouragement coming from that crash course for olympiad. i am not sure why but perhaps it's that positive attitude that's ranging in me, again. so after having a macdonald's breakast at plaza with my brother, we went down straight to woodlands. and soon after we reach causeway, we went seperate ways as my brother headed for window shopping and i headed for the regional library at civics centre. and i think i really need to go library more often. because after i thought i had covered everything that i ought to know for the upcoming olympiad, i found out that i was actually refering to some books which only provides basic scatches about that topic. and i felt it was a waste spending so much time in the library. i should have look around and open my eyes big, to look for the correct reference. all boils down to the following reason, who ask me don know the library well. it makes me sound so stupid but anyway, a lesson learnt indeed.
later roy came over to join me at civics after the his trip to jp, then bpp then woodlands, which he found troublesome. although he didn't really say it but i can see from the way he reacted previously over our conversation. haha..

and now, here i am slacking at his house. suppose to do maths or something, but then, got disgressed from what i am supposed to do la.. haha.. anyway, gonna have a clique outing which i am suppose to organise. up till now, i don really have a vague idea about what programs should we have on that day. i hope, i could get it settled later and we shall have an enjoyable outing this coming saturday, 18NOV. :)

2006-11-11T17:36:00.000+08:00

i've been asked by a lot of people to update my blog. WELL, here's one entry to satisfy those people who are so thirsty for what's happening to me nowadays. i must really clarify, i didn't blog because my comp isn't working well enough. It HANGS and gives lots of trouble whenever i want to blog and this is starting to get into my nerves. and the good news is, i may be getting a laptop soon. so from there on, no more computer troubles. haha..

well, kinda busy nowadays. Busy with o levels which was finished a few days ago and also chemistry olympiad.

O levels was fine and i hope i could achieve what i long for. i must suceed. and for chemistry olympiad, gosh, completely gone case because my teacher only started some kind of training for us only a few weeks ago. and it isn't really a training. because, it's a crash course. feeding us with chemistry theories and knowledge without notes? and juz plain talking and talking, hoping that we could get it ourselves and remember by hard. but who cares whether we win in the end or not. It's the experience that counts. haha..

i also want to take this opportunity to thank my friends. Despite your busy schedule with OP, u all still made an effort to encourage me during my o level exams period. at some point of time, it became so dark to me that i felt so discouraged while preparing for my exams. and it was you, my wonderful bunch of friends, who's sms made me got back on my feet. i couldn't have make it without u all.

Thank you roy, xinyuan, michelle, pamella, benjamin, OCM, yong ching, jiamin, ai ting, MS Nora, carolyn. you all did wonders. :)

and it's time for me to spend some time going out with my friends. it's really work>social life for the past few months. take this opportunity to enjoy myself to the fullest while preparing for the upcoming challenge next year.

and my dear friends, next time u don see me update my blog, u all should know why la.. haha..

2006-10-24T19:38:00.000+08:00

I think you can do much better than me. After all the empty promises that I made you hold. Guilt kicks in and I start to see the edge of my life. I told myself I won't miss you. But I remembered what it feels like beside you. I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes. I think you should know this, you're an indelible cast of memories. While reflecting about those days, I remembered those pictures we took. If there's one memory I don't want to lose, it's every moment of us, the story of me and you. The bed I'm lying in is getting colder. Wish I never would've said it's overAnd I can't pretend that I won't think about you when I'm a loner cause we never really had our closure. Tears are let to descend. each time I think about you, your face tells me it's the end.

2006-10-15T14:45:00.000+08:00

Your subtleties

They strangle me

I can't explain myself at all.

And all the wants

And all the needs

All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing

My mind's unweaving

Maybe it's best you leave me alone.

A weight is lifted

On this evening

I give the final blow.

A falling star

Least I fall alone.

I can't explain what you can't explain.

You're finding things that you didn't know

I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing

My mind's unweaving

Maybe it's best you leave me alone.

When darkness turns to light

Just a little insight won't make this right

It's too late to fight

Now I'm on my own side

It's better than being on your side

It's my fault when your blind

It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside

Now you're the first to know

It ends tonight,

It ends tonight.

2006-09-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

rise of the spirited general as the fearsome battle begins.
promos,
i'll come back harder this time.

2006-09-06T03:06:00.000+08:00

When I look at my reflection, I see you behind me.
Nice and appealing is what you would always be.

Good thing you didn't saw my face,
Because the smile was being displaced.

I wanted you back so badly,
But my wish isn't turning into reality.

8 months might be long,
but sad enough because it's gone.

Who's that I mentioned you asked.
The reply for you was a white lie that I cast,
Not letting you know that it's actually us.

There are better ones out there I guess,
But I must say, you're still the best.

The sight of you that day made my heart fonder
Which made me fell for you deeper.

Staying up late tonight just to write about you,
And my loneliness is only for you to fill.
Free your ears and let me tell you,
I need,

You.

j'ai besoin de toi adnama

2006-09-05T17:22:00.000+08:00

my dearest primary school friend, yong ching, who has not changed at all ever since we last met but now, with longer hair which grew like amazon forest(i know it has got some fashion sense in it but you gotta keep it short, too untidy like that).

glad thing that we manage to find time and arrange for a meetup at plaza sing, spent our time in yamaha music shop and had our hands placed on some of the most prestigous musical instrument that we can find and embrace in the medalous tune of the electric piano. i had a great time hanging out with you. and now the question is, when's the next time that we're ever gonna meet again?

2006-08-31T15:50:00.000+08:00

today was teacher's day celebration cum Be Youself Day. Sad thing was my phone memory was fully used up to contain memories of me and my friends and so, i didn't manage to take photos with my friends.
and after that, i went to meetup my ex classmates who are waiting from like 9 plus? Apparently, my sec school didn't allow ex students to go in the sch to visit teachers because of security reasons they said. as such, my poor friends from JJ, they finished their mass yoga display at around 9 plus and they have to like wait till 1 plus then they can get into our secondary school just to see our teachers that we longed to see.. my friends they all getting nervous about the neck breaking promos that's coming in 3 weeks time except for roy, my best friend. because he did so well so all his test and common test, he manage to be exempted from promotional exams and we're like so jealous abt that.. haha..

my promos also coming in 3 weeks time. first paper coming up is GP. no failures this time round. i gotta pass it.

Your history is mine..

2006-08-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

some photos to share

they rock my socks off at mediacorp.(Me, Bradley and Leonard!)

and i didn't know i did took a photo with my good pal, bradley, a few months ago until lately i found this in my thumbdrive. =)

2006-08-30T22:38:00.000+08:00

alright, i'm so lazy to just blog and updated a little bit about myself recently, events that's going etc. but hey, today is an exception.

today there's no school for us because the school is conducting e-learning program at home and we have to login to our portal to do online assignments from 8am to 1pm. So, i guess this is also schooling. but it does makes a difference because u can at least listen to some music and chat with friends on msn or something.. haha.. but from this, i got to know how much i appreciate doing homework using pen and paper. because doing homework online is terrible. Teacher asking u to go and do your own research and it's like so troublesome. the information is available on the internet but you just don't know where to start and which to trust simply becuase there might be errors and lead you to the wrong idea in the end.

and tml we're having celebrating Teachers' Day and 'Be Yourself Day'. and for that be yourself day, our school actually allowed us to wear whatever we like to school tml and i thought that was kinda cool. and i heard my friends from JJ having some kind of mass yoga display, an attempt to break the world guniess world. but the best is still stay at home la.. well, the teachers can celebrate themselves unless they want us to celebrate with them too.. but i think, the most pleasant present for teachers' day would be a no school day for everybody because adults like them don't wanna waste time especially for this kind of celebrations which would be held every year.

alright, short entry for today. would be longer the next time round.

2006-08-12T02:37:00.000+08:00

Today was rather an satisfying, happy and surprising day for me. Yesterday had og outing with my friends in JJ and I am very happy to see people I wanna see.
Though we didn’t even talk to each other and it’s merely just eye contact, waves for hello and goodbye and a smile casted on our faces for each other, but it’s enough to tell me that you’re okay. And I felt rather guilty to actually kill those thoughts of talking to you, feeling that you might actually feel awkward. I should have gone up to you and prompted you a friendly how are you or something, but the fact is, I can’t bring myself to do that. Once I have myself looked into your eyes, I immediately turned away because that feeling which I shouldn’t have actually does still exist in me somehow. What feeling was that? I think you know best.
We watched a movie called, see no evil, wow! It’s really see no evil man. A lot of violence for digging people’s eyes out? Having that sharp hook of a long metal chain pierced into the body of a victim? And blood oozing out of dead bodies, almost flooding the screen with each and every scene the movie has. Shi qing, so sorry for asking you to watch such a movie although we know that you would be freaked out, which you really did in the theatre and practically switched yourself off from the movie and seek peace and purity from your handphone games instead of joining us in this bloddy visual experience. Haha.. but it’s sad when some of us are leaving, because I felt that we didn’t actually spend enough time for each other, leaving myself with incomplete task which I planned to perform but just no motivated to do it. Well, like what I said, it’s not how long we spend, but it’s how we spend with each other.
OG 14, let’s have an outing in September shall we? I hope the next outing we have would have more people attending and of course, NO MORE violent movies and short and simple gathering. We gonna spend more time since we hardly can come out together as ONE.
Thinking of you all today just makes myself very satisfied with life.

And today, I had O level English oral back in my previous secondary school. As my friends and I were walking to the coffee shop near my previous secondary school, a lot of my schoolmates who are still studying there shouted my name. and it’s like a lot of people man, turning me like a celebrity. My friends were kinda surprised by all that shouting.. haha.. then, while waiting for our turns for the oral examinations, all of us waiting were trying to glare hard enough to actually guess what the picture conversation was about. people at the table reading the oral thing was like showing us the picture by holding it high up in the air in front of the teacher who’s keeping the time. And gosh, that teacher didn’t say anything about that even though it’s so obvious that we’re cheating.. lol.. and soon it’s my turn, I opened the door with much trepidation, walked up to the examiners and did my best for it though at one point I saw one of the examiners yawning in front of me but I am not affected by that and did my best though.
God, please help me get good grades my oral. I need to ace it in order to reach my target.

And after I finished everything, I can’t help myself from falling back into those secondary school days as I walked pass each familiar corridor, remembering each and every incident that happened at that place. Now I know how hard that feeling was. Then, I walked pass the chem. Lab which my chem. Teacher always brings us to. Then later I heard a familiar voice talking inside the lab. I walked in and saw my chem. Teacher. Mrs teo, thanks for your care and concern for me and my family. Do you know that as I am talking to you, you made me feel as if you’re like someone close to me, showering motherly love care and concern for each and every bit of complains that I voiced out to you about my school and stuff? Anyway, hope you’re doing fine. I’ll visit you again on 1st September, presenting a token of appreciation for you.

Memories must not turn grey, because their history that made your day.

2006-08-10T02:20:00.000+08:00

This was what happened today:

Blue sector. 9th August 2006, National Stadium.

Advised to dress in red, seated by 4.45pm :)

Me and my aunt :)

Old light tower that's gonna be standing here to withness the last national day parade before the renovation.

Sea of stars, wasn't that nice?

Watch the spectaculars!

this, i won't forget!

and this too!

fly red and white ballons.. end of parade, goodbye old national stadium.

and a 2min plus video i took.. a bit shaky, hope u all don't mind. i tried my best though.. :)

2006-08-10T02:19:00.000+08:00

Forgetting about all the unhappiness that happened to me yesterday during celebration when my phone was being confiscated for using my handphone to take pictures in their so-called restricted premises and I was like so freaking pissed and disappointed because my school, the school rules seems so so inflexible despite having negotiation sessions over the phone by my dad with the teacher who confiscated my phone, that teacher was too stubborn to actually let me be excused from having my handphone being retained by them until the following Monday. And of course, I'm angry with that teacher but then after some deep thinking, I straighten my thoughts and I think, there's no need to be angry or hold any grudges against her because it would be like wasting my precious, non-reversible, one and only lifetime of light years over that teacher which I though was unreasonable and ill-mannered. She's indeed a guttersnipe. When I talk to her, she don't even talk to me face to face and there seems to be a need for me to talk to her side of her face. She's really no manners man.. I thought, talking is the basic commercial ways of communication between each civilized person. And from the way she talks to me and the body language she exhibits in front of me, I can say that she lost her professionalism. So much about her but

ANYWAY, I won't hate her anymore. Because I have learnt a lot from this first experience of losing my handphone to the school rules. L

On a lighter note, I went for NDP 2006 @ National Stadium TODAY! Went there with my aunt. Actually I planned to go with my brother, but then he said that he decided that he's not going because he has got lots of work to do, test coming up blah blah blah.

Let me tell you guys who's reading this entry of mine now. Being at the national stadium was an incredible and enjoyable moment for me especially this year. Apart from those long distance we need to travel from the stadium to kallang MRT after the end of the parade, all the sweat that was squeezed out of us when we were under the blazing hot sun and back aching experience after long hours of sitting, it was after all a satisfying trip without any signs of regrets about coming all the way from bukit panjang to witness this grand and prestigious ceremony.

Firstly, my aunt and I were busy ransacking the goody bags that was given to us at the point we entered the stadium, to find out that it was the same.. flags, tibits, drinks and stuffs. Haha, but a little pleasant surprise given to us was the introduction of this lucky draw contest. We're suppose to clear the trash around us and put it in a trash bag with a sticker with some serial number on it. We're suppose to keep that serial number and find out the results of the lucky draw on 15 aug on the official NDP website. Well, being typical Singaporeans, the sure thing was, I didn't forgo the chance that could possibly let me win something nice for myself or people whom I think that they deserve most. :)

And the parade goes on and on with spectacular and exciting performances that was put up, giving us, the audience, surprises every now and then with the sudden projection of fireworks in the air.. my aunt and I were like on a look out for fireworks in the sky so as to capture those beautiful sparks that's in mid air which light up the dark sky of singapore. But we were all so affected by the effects of visual satisfaction that we were sometimes so engross with whatever we saw and forgotten about taking pictures of it. But well, I actually took a couple of pictures which I would upload later and also perhaps a video on fireworks. =)

And og 14 is finally having an outing at plaza sing tml after so long.. haha.. can't wait to catch up with my fellow og mates. Seriously speaking, I miss them a lot.. I hope they also miss me.. haha.. whatever..

My dear homeland, Singapore, you might be just a small continent or a small dot that's hardly noticeable on world map by geographers, but given this small space that I live in peacefully, you satisfied my big hunger for a total different kind of entertainment today. I'm a patriotic Singaporean, I sang my lungs out for you, Singapore, upon hearing the national anthem. You're my number ONE! It's really our global city, our home.

2006-08-05T16:19:00.000+08:00

and my aunt wants me to learn her cultinary skills.. LOL.. i'm gonna be a cook in the family someday. i'm gonna cook, someone else please wash the dishes..

2006-08-05T15:09:00.000+08:00

woah, i'm getting into some kind of stress that's self-created. i hope it's some kind of healty stress that could spur me further academically. i've been wanting myself to keep up with the standard like my friends from other schools. so, lately it's just burying my head into piles of notes and doing homework, studying for upcoming test or some self-revision. yes, turning into a nerd sooner or later. but to lighten things a little bit, i had initiated a gathering with my secondary school brothers. haha.. although we are going to have a meal, watch movie and stuff and it's so mundane since we always do that for each and every gathering we have, making some people reflecting strong opposing statements to the planner, BUT, i felt it was a pretty decent gathering. simplicity spells it all. and the most interesting things is that, we enjoyed it at the end of each gathering. well, let's hope that gathering i initiated would happen someday during this coming public holidays.

and i am so excited about national day. because for all these years since i was sec 2, i have tickets to preview shows(don't ask how i got the tickets. i'll never spill the beans. =) ) and this year, it's gonna be different from previous years. though there are tickets to the one and only one preview shows this year, but the tickets eventually fall on my cousin's hands. i'm gonna celebrate with my tv on that day.a phone call came morning,which made me super elated, acstatic, jubilant, euphoric, on cloud nine! I'm gonna be at the NATIONAL STADIUM on 9th AUGUST 2006. yay! i'm gonna be part of the audience, celebrating what every singaporean was proud of. celebrating 41 years of glorious history that our forefathers had fought for. beg me if you want to come along with me. i've got 2, with one to spare. catch my attention with your jealously, look at me in fury and desperation. and perhaps, i'll shall make myself spare a thought of consideration for you. LOL.. nah, i'm going with someone special. :)

i love you, SINGAPORE. 9th August 2006, your day makes my day. i might be just small and unnoticeble mass occupying less an 1 metres square on you, but i have a big appetite for your excitement that you could bring about to fill me with!

2006-08-01T19:28:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back on blogging after a long long long long… while. And yes, the reason why I blog like once in a while is because I’m just too lazy to turn on the computer and also busy with school, work and stuffs.

But anyway, life's good for me recently! no longer that disturbed by the past memories that once hindered my progression in life, which once really steal my attention when even the slightest things could trigger my emotions and stuffs. I once questioned myself to these problems pointing sharply at me which I never dared for a attempt to seek comfort in the breeze of reality.

But hey, I soon discovered I'm better off without that. No longer being negative about life and apathetic with what's going on around me. And yes, the green patch which I was once familiar with has now somehow lost it's ability to contribute comfort in my life, lifting every hatred and relieving every strains I have on my back as I walk my way down the boulevard of life. And I don't know who's that fellow who is mouthing about my story which almost turned me into an overnight celebrity. Haha.. but anyway, I have so much to comment about this but, perhaps I'll talk more another day.

On a lighter note, my friends around me are really a booster for me.

To my friends in JJ:

Everytime as I make my way home, I would see you all. Everytime when I need courage, I would be thinking of you all and everytime I miss you all, it's when I really need you all.

After so long you all are still in my heart,

let's not break it and be apart,

because you're my favourite touch.

That's for you, my friends in JJ.

And Og 14, long time no see, I wonder how's everyone doing now. Hope to see you guys at an outing that's coming soon after the common test.

And although I did pretty well for my mid years, I really shouldn't be complacent with it because I could have done better. My effort shouldn't stop here. Especially for my GP, I really need to be more focus on my points and read more. Never gonna let history repeat itself again during my upcoming promotional exams.

Damn, yesterday got caught by my teacher for long side burn? I was like OMG? WTF? *&#*@#*&!! And really, my side burn wasn't long but my teacher still demands a haircut by Wednesday morning. I think she's jealous of my hairstyle. But never mind, I'm am a good student and would obey what the school rules demands out of me. Haha..

I hear footsteps. Footsteps of you walking out of my mind

2006-07-22T02:51:00.000+08:00

omg.. so much of happenings nowadays and i am updating my blog at this godly hour.

probably an update about recent events that occured tomorrow since i can't resist the temptation to be on my bed and forcing my eye lids to be open even though they are showing signs of disagreement. haha.. whatever.

2006-07-10T12:15:00.000+08:00

tried to post some chinese text here on my blog but it doesn't seem to work. but anyway, thanks DUN FU! you're really a great help. so much of an effort, but to no avail.

anyway, there's this song i wanna dedicate to this very special person, xxxxx.
this song i am playing on my blog now, it's by jay chou. i find that this song really draw the image of us and our story so clearly. and it's exactly that kind of message that i wanna put across.

TO YOU: http://www.lyricool.com/show.jsp?song_id=2459
xxxxx, click on the above link. it will lead you to the lyrics of the song. as the song plays on m blog, follow each and every word of the song. feel, hear and sense the meaning behind all the singing. especially the lyrics.

it's from me, to you, perhaps for the very last time.

and omg.. italy god damn you. france should win world cup!

2006-07-08T20:03:00.000+08:00

Grey skies clouding up the things we used to see with wide eyes, maybe everything was meant to be this way.Will it ever change? But we are stuck here on our own. I found getting the truth out from you the hardest thing. I know it wasn't you that made yourself fell for those.
It was me, because I reminded you of him.

And give it one more try,I don't know if I would stay.
Because it has all gone grey. I feel so much better now. And baby begging you, will leave me so empty inside. So i shouldn't even try. I know every last regret inside of me is my own. The way I hold them close has made me be this way. I will never change. I know I'm stuck here on my own, MY OWN.

Where did we go wrong? I don’t know if you still hold on to me but it's time that i let go. I gave you things I had that I could not get back again.
But I think, I'm better off alone.

Light up your old flame, he but not me shines the inside of you because he is your defination, bouncing off the reality and up the emotional ride. Break away from your sorrows, make yourself a desired statement but not a deathwish. i'll head towards the endless road without a stop sign, moving along alone like a fool who is too sure that this, would be better.

2006-07-07T15:05:00.000+08:00

yeah! back for blogging FOR A WHILE. well, it's been so so so long ever since i lasted posted on my small little, always-stagnant-pathetic-boring blog. actually, i have been really busy. for those who didn;t know, i am actually having my mid year exams these few weeks. so far so good for my exams but erm.. i think econs, damn fc*ked up. time management is the key, i need guidance on that!

recently, my brother shared with me a way to identify or rather, check whether someone's I/C number is genuine or not. kinda surprise by this because i was like.. WHAT? REALLY? hha.. there's this formula which could be used to check the alphabet on your i/c. my bro tried to use that formula to prove that it works on my I/C no. but to no avail.. something went wrong i believe and that formula didn't worked out. I'll post that formula up here once it's CONFIRMED. :)

and yeah, world cup really bring families or friends together. i remembered just a couple of days before the start of my mid years, i was at my uncle's house watching germany vs agentina. and the next day, we went up and watched england vs portugal. it's really funny because everyone in my family not really fond of world cup and out of the sudden, we all just like sit together in front of the tv, cheering and shouting GOAL so loudly when our favourite teams scored. i was one of them, letting it all out.. shouting all the while like some kind of hardcore fans. :X and it feels great after all, especially going home late in the night, travelling in a car along an empty street and suddenly you can see like a lot of cars coming out of some junctions, only to know that there's telecast of world cup matches for people to watch under the blocks of some HDBs in a coffee shop like mine, or somewhere in bukit panjang plaza..

i've been attending classes outside for my gp. and i was like too reluctant to tell ppl that i am from MI, then i told them, i am from JJ. lol.. and it was like a adrenaline rush through my veins when i faked my identity.. yes, i know it's bad to be a lier but i am just so NOT proud to annouce to the class that i am from MI during the self-introduction. i am just not ready for that.

and here comes the best part, there's this guy named desmond claims to be from SRJC. and he onced asked me where do i live. and i found out that he lives in bukit panjang area too. there's something to take note of.. SRJC in serangoon and he's in bukit panjang? then, so happen that there's one day around my class's cooridor, i happen to see a person's features from his back resembles desmond. but i didn't care much and went to the washroom. i don't know if i am wrong or anything but i just noticed him staring at me across the room when i am sitting opposite to him and avert his eye from me when i looked at him. it's not once but throughout the lesson and i once suspect that he's a brokeback mountain.. and today, while walking to the bus stop with my friend, david, i saw someone across a road junction. i focused my attention on that guy and to my horror, it's desmond and he's from MI also.. lol.. and i think, both of us are on the same boat now. we lied.. lol.. and all that staring he did was for a reason. omg.. i am stripped naked long time ago and i didn't know that. fancy me putting up a mask in front of others and being exposed of your real identity. that feeling sucks. but both of us are quits, nothing to hide anymore and i am gonna ask him about this next wednesday when i see him again.

and i am really concern about some of my friends. they are either just so occupied by work or troubled by problems that's haunting them forever.

xxxxx, voicing out somewhere especially on your blog is a good choice. the past memories that perpetuates in you just doesn't help to better your situation now. you miss him so much, go and ask him out or call him. do whatever it takes to get closer to him.
i think to end all your hardships, i am just gonna give these sharpy comments from an aspect of mine. i hope you don't get insulted or whatever. because i really can't bear to see you sink any deeper in that. pulling your socks in your studies might just be a more realistic manner for you. the rest, leave it. like what your mom onced told me,
trouble won't come and find you, it's when you knock on it's door.
and i do agree with that statement she told me.

actually, those who could console others, their biggest challenge was to console themselves.

i really miss you rotten. really a lot a lot. and it's like so hard to stop thinking about you for just a moment. i really want to go back to those days and start all over again from the scratch of our friendship. pure friendship and i shall stop there. and it seems so hard. really you know? simply because it's just can't get started at all. and i'll try to make myself busy and have no time to think about those things. it helps a little sometimes but most of the time, it feels so horrible when i start thinking about you being really like strangers to me when an impluse was triggered.
and yes i know, it's really makes no sense to you pounding on such things again and again because you simply don't care and avoids these issues all the time and HE, is what defines you best.

forgive me for my harsh and ruthless comments. i am in desperate need to get your attention.

2006-06-22T16:52:00.000+08:00

you know watching you guys do your thing wasn't an easy job. i mean, because when i am watching you all representing that group i am so proud of, participating actively, cheering as if you all won the race and the teamwork, passion to win and the attitude that was presented in front of everyone, there was just this massive influx of pride and honour filling every space inside of me. as one team and another walk off the stage with their wonderful performance, i was wondering would you all be the most outstanding team compared to the rest? and each time the team number elapses from 1 to 5, that adrenaline that was rushing in me was being trigger each time it gets closer to team 5. the feeling i have can't be described. it's so hard to explain that excitement that's within me especially when the whole process of waiting to see you all up on stage was at a slow-killing pace. i don't know what made me felt such a way for JJ even though i am not a JJcian already. maybe it's those familliar faces that i saw made me feel so. remembering each and every moment, impression and experiences that i once had.
JJ! i am so proud to see you guys actually made it to the second round. I hope ultimately you all would win the contest. rock on..

and yes.. school's reopening in like 4 days? and that also mean 1 week after school reopens, it's exams and i am gonna miss events like JJ Student Councilors' Investiture, where i could see my beloved friends once again. the plan is, this last week of holidays would be like for me to study for my coming mid year exams. so far so good, been doing fine but can't really get that momentum to carry on each time i stop and take a break. I feel so lazy to get myself in front of those lecture notes again, it's like a task which is a pain in the ass. no choice. this is what i chose to take on and i am gonna train myself for the system that i am gonna be in next year. a system where SDSM- Self Discpline, Self Motivation, perhaps spells it all.

and you, seek refuge in someone when you need to hide or get away with thing's that pulling you back from being happy again. be my guest in the bomb shelter of mine. i'll be most willing to make you fly again.

the crutch that you once relied on is still here, for you.

:)

2006-06-20T18:41:00.000+08:00

JJ! JJ! gogoGO!

Win this JJ!
i wanna see you again on tv! you guys can do it without a problem right? I'll be in front of the tv and support u guys..

CHANNEL 8 8PM..

it's when the REAL,
excitement starts.

2006-06-19T18:02:00.000+08:00

i don't know what similarities or behaviour that i possess that let's you be reminded of him with just a sight of me. and why be immnue to both of us? be immnue to him.. not me. i find it's rather unfair to be immnue to me but i guessed, i'm okay now as it's clear that you don't turn back to me anymore and also because i am now just your confidante :)

from my innermost feeling, i also wanted very much to be like what we are in the past, from the start, from the scratch and formation of our friendship then a confidante of each other through the all the laughter and joy brought about through orientation 02 and all the msn chats.. remember?
and you need not get yourself immune to me. i know and i'll be automatic.trust me okay? i know you will. haha.. putting words into your mouth again..
and i feel more comfortable to be in the place back in the past rather than be with what i'm left with to polish or to turn back. these, it would be kept in the deepest part of me and perhaps, i'll never present these in front of you anymore. maybe there would be times that i'll pull that cover off, but not always.

It feels wierld to be stony and never let go,
It only gets harder the more i mould,
When you get lonely if no one's around,
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down.
We came together but you left alone
And you know how it feels like to see you walk out on your own?
Maybe someday we shall see each other again,
And would you look me in my eyes and call me,

your friend?

It's that smile on us again, that makes our friendship distinct.

2006-06-19T15:53:00.000+08:00

everyone is updating their most prestige blog about their current events, thoughts. but, i find that i'm an outcast. though having a blog, but i am not updating it frequent enough- i think i broke my personal 6 day blog-stagnant record. haha :) mainly because i'm lazy. LAZY enough to face and endure crashes, hangs..

it's good to at least, take a break out there, leaving some time to go out and socialise rather than staying at home, blogging and stuff.. it takes me off the emotional hook when i feel so alone. no doubt on that, because human beings are the only living thing that knows that he is alone. this is not a law, but just a statement out of me, you guys might not agree to it. haha :)

for the past few days, i have been appearing at town areas either with my aunt or family. haha. it all started off with my aunt, having a craze to go for a shopping because some sales is going on. so my brother, cousin and me went with her. actually my aunt thought of buying some clothes for us but instead of that, she bought herself things because we shop in a way like my aunt, she herself go to her ladies corner whereas we boys, go to our corner and look around.

For my brother, cousin and myself, we didn't manage to find anything that suits our likings apart from it, we took up those shades and trying them on, looking into the mirror and trying to act cool and handsome. wanted to buy them but the price of that particular shade that we wanted just dashed all our desires of being owners of them. haha.. but then, we made our trip worthy. we boys, got ourselves busy with the games at the toys area. i was busy playing Fifa World Cup 2006 on a XboX 360 on one of the top levels at C.K. Tang, whereas my cousin and my brother was so engrossed in their somehow pathetic table soccer game because they can't find the ball to play, so they merrily just pulled out one of the stoppers on the table that was big enough to be a ball for them to at least, twist the rods with figures of soccer players hard enough and sweep that rubber stopper into the goal of their opponent's side.
and gosh, we attracted a lot of attention from passer-bys because we seemed like crazy soccer fans, trying to be part of the moment in the happening world cup even though we're not in Germany. haha..
apart from those tired and endless window shopping with my aunt were those moments at crystal jade restaurant @ Takashimaya, standing outside the ladies shop waiting for our aunt to come out and also lots of eye candies walking past us.. ;)

and i still remember i did something offending to one of the polo perfume sales girl. this is what happened:
my brother and i, together with my cousin, we were looking around in C.K.Tangs for a perfume that could be a gift for our beloved daddy. so, we came across polo perfume. we stopped and we browsed their products. one sales girl came forward and asked, " Hi sir, looking for a present for father's day? " I looked at her and nodded. Salesgirl said," let me recommend you this perfume." she took a sample and sprayed perfume on a paper strip for us to smell. the smell was very nice but we find it too strong. later, she asked me, " so sir, what's your budget?" then, i was very crappy at that time and i replied, " 2 dollars!" .
and i tell you, i witnessed the most scariest facial expression in my life. it sent a chill down my spin when i saw that expression on that salesgirl's face. That salesgirl was having this expression that she is gonna blast out swears, curses, saliva, phelgm or whatever stuff that you could think of to bring down a person. when i looked into her eyes, i got this impression that she is gonna scream at me. that was what i saw and felt in just 2 seconds of occurance. then i quickly told the salesgirl, " erm, i think i'll have this(refering to the paper strip)." and we walked off. ever since that moment, my cousin and my brother was constantly reminding me about that incident with this tagline,
" 2 dollars arh.."
lol.. but it was hillarious thinking back on this incident and find myself so notorious to do this to that salesgirl. even till now, that " 2 dollars arh.." tagline still runs through my mind, acting like a laughing stock. LOL. and i think i'm gonna be scoffed at this incident with that tagline forever if my cousin or my brother or my aunt recalls about it.. haha..

and thank you my uncles, aunts and friends for the reminder that this week is the last week of june holidays. and i feel so many imcompletes.

2006-06-13T02:48:00.000+08:00

please, stop pulling me away from the trying to keep my blog far away from being stagnant and dead. everyday i got a thought to at least add an entry but you are so much of a pain in my ass! always here to stop me from blogging. i hate my computer! it's always crashing, hanging.. arghh- i need a new computer, so badly.

anyway, yesterday was totally not a wasted day. i went for my sec 4 class gathering @ causeway point. Initially, i was on the fence, whether to go for the gathering or not. specifically because causeway point just flood my emotional void with every thought that's running through my mind. because, i recalled the days when i really experienced my heartiest moments of my life. the cinema, bus 900 at the interchange, pasta mania and many more. these eloquent reminders are not all but tip of an iceberg of what i recalled. it just makes me feel so cold and crestfallen.
but hey, the purpose of this gathering was to catch up with my fellowships! eventually, i managed to set aside most but not all of my reluctance. i felt free once again, like a butterfly out of it's cocoon. :)
we eventually went to seoul garden to have our lunch even though there were objections voiced out about it being too expensive. a group of my friends, audery, raf, putera and jayne, sitting at another table beside us was like eating hell lot of meat. everytime i looked at them, it's just meat and nothing else, all over their pan. the sight of those hell loads of meat eaten by them just irks me. there was actually a promise made with myself that i'm not gonna eat chicken because i'm on medication but later on, i took a small piece of coffee chicken in my mouth, which jun wei claims that it was simply delicious. you know, sometimes it's just better to eat whenever you can. haha! and throughout the whole session of lunch at seoul garden, i ate only veggies, fishballs, crabsticks and some nice and juicy boiled prawns. those prawns were so sweet and delicious that i wasn't aware that i actually had 18 of them in my stomach. i got a picture to prove it. wait till i get that picture from gin.. heh ;)
so after that, we decided to catch a movie. we stood at the lobby there like a whole lot of road hawgers. and we're simply indecisive. we didn't come to a point of agreement on what movie to watch and so, the boys went to play arcade and the girls, shopping. then later, we took 960 to bukit panjang plaza macdonalds for a chat. we took lots of pictures and among those photos taken, it consist mostly audery and raf's photo. so, joel came up with his wacky idea: click, drag, delete those photos. it's so lame lah but then, how joel said it made it so funny, making us laugh our asses off all the time without fail. even though when everyone's was tired, he's the only voice that's still there to keep us alive. you rock joel..

i no longer face my back on reality because i've got to move on. i can't be bought down by this even though i know myself that i still would be affected someway or rather just like how he made you felt ambivalent.
i read your archives and i really find that i am the you last time and you're like him. and i am really shocked to come to know that what i feel is actually exactly the same as yours. i think you should know how i feel because you used to be in this position of mine now.
but the fact now is, i really treat you as a friend to me already and not expecting more from you. because i know, it's irritating if i persist, and i fully understand what you wanted. so,
remove those barriers that was built around me, those were not needed anymore. forget the bad impression of me being stubbord and a person who likes to mimick you or put words into your mouth and which you think i don't understand what you really wanted. because all these while the fact is, i know and i understand.

and i think i better get some sleep, because my aunt is gonna knock my door at 10am plus in the morning. gonna be a busy day which i would hardly get to study again.

A Source, Making Individuals Lively Everyday
- A S.M.I.L.E

:)

2006-06-07T03:11:00.000+08:00

and my computer sucks. it's tempermental. i wanted to post something the past few days but it's so problematic! Arghh! killed all my desire to voice out my life..

gonna throw you out one day.. trampled and disfigured! my comp really sucks.

2006-06-07T02:34:00.000+08:00

i finally could say goodbye to those dusty, 'sneeze-zy' and irritating nights. hardly could get a good rest during the times while packing stuffs around the house. it's like a continuation of a live human torture when you're facing with dust dancing in the air and catches you, irritates you and almost unstoppable. the day before yesterday, i moved into my new home @ bukit panjang! nice and cozy is what i could describe about it. :)

house warming on that day was a great one. we invited relatives to come over and seeing their cornea expanding to it's fullest, it makes me wonder what's running throught their mind. i know one thing. almost all of them are impressed and yes, their eyes almost popped out, describing it in an exaggerated version. :) all of my relatives came except for one of my older cousin. the soon to be mother of 4 children wasn't feeling well.. hey xueling jie jie.. take care man.. and,
dear simon, thank you for forking out part of your time that day, coming to my house warming. you could've spent your day and your time with chendi, weiming and gang for cycling @ east coast. but you chose to come to my house warming. i am deeply thankful for that. you know your presence somehow created some comotions when everyone started to mistaken you as my close friend, instead of your real identity, a teacher. haha.. and yes indeed, you're young although i know that you're in your late twenties, a young bachelor.. haha.. the way you interact with my cousins and family members forged a significant impression in their minds. everyone says that you're a nice person and especially my younger cousins, they commented that you're so fun to play with and their kind of bored when that uno stacko game ended just like that when you're so engrossed into the entertainment show that everyone was watching in the living room.. haha.. and also, i would keep that promise i made.. because that's one of my aims.. you made the day of mine coloured once again.

today went and visited the dentist. i was on high spirits because i finally can feel my teeth again when i run my tongue against the surface of my teeth- i am braces-less!
but on a sad note, i still need to do some repairs before my set of teeth could really be NICE. and it's really funny when my dad is trying his best to negotiate the pricing with the dentist for those repairs. the conversation led the next patient on the que waited for about 15 mins and the doctor and the nurse was getting kind of pissed and impatient over it. initially the doctor was reluctant to consider our suggestion which almost got into a masculine approach. but then, we eventually got what we wanted.. haha..
but hey, i think i am gonna be heavily marked down by the staffs working there next week when i visit them again to collect my retainers.. oops O.O

you know sometimes, you just don't have the courage to face the music because subconciously, you're always thinking about it. simply because it's indelible and so embedded in one. wondering the other party would know about this just makes that extra load of nostalgia more significant behind their backs because the word, fact, is always opposing your wills. a dose of the past is what one needs to relief that rotten feeling that's growing to become frantical. But it all falls back to square when the eloquent reminders, music, photos and perhaps, scent, polishes everything up. reflecting, flooding and supersizing itself in one's mind. especially in the heart.
but the one's who we really feel alot for were often exonerated from all the blames. because, it all started from ourselves. and that's what i think which affected me so much. i can't overcome myself because i didn't want to. some might say, clouding your days with someone that was impossible to turn back to you is totally worthless, but i think, it's all about the hope that we still grab hold of it, so tightly. yes, there are greener patches around us. move along!
but, we would like to stay longer because this is a patch that we spotted feels so much like home and it's special in the sense that it's not green.. it's rainbow, in one's eyes. i'm lacking in emotional expression in words but i hope you get what i meant.

it's a thought, out of my soul.

hate the sin, love the sinner.

2006-06-01T16:25:00.000+08:00

I am not everything you thought that I would be. But every story I have told is part of me and you keep the air in my lungs. Floating along as a melody comes and my heart beats like timpani drums. Keeping the time while a symphony strums and I'm drying out, crying out. This isn't how I go. I'm just crushed.. under, you.

2006-06-01T14:01:00.000+08:00

paper bags and angry voices, under a sky of dust. there's a constant wave of tension, that's enough to put me up. omg.. spent my time since the start of holiday packing up and moving things to my new home.. withstanding the dust flying arouund and sneezing hard each time the dust got me.. ;( hardly have time to complete my holiday assignment until the last minute.

The me yesterday was in a complete messed up. i felt so lonely suddenly. i went for a swim.. it somehow help a little but mr lonely wasn't away yet. and rara, sorry if i got you wrong. i hope this is the first and last time. actually yesterday i didn't pick up your call is because somehow or rather, i felt that i shouldn't let you hear the saddest part of me.. i broke down. but that was yesterday.

Still a long way to go.. thinking ahead already..

you cleared those images that we used to have. cleared those promises and words said so well.. i feel my echo in your head fading with the flooding of your older memories filling up each and every bit of the space in your head, and heart. give me a little push, i would say i am done for.

words, heart, soul..

gone.

2006-06-01T13:48:00.000+08:00

The truth is tearing up my heart. I can't recognize this place. The endless road without a stop sign. Cant even find a stranger this time. Why am i still holding back my tears? In this loneliness there's nothing to fear. Every chord still seems so wonder how we could be together everytime i ask if this would be the last.. why am i still talking to myself? hoping you will have the keys to my cell.. every song might calm the weather but it just draws me deeper. how do i get out of this i think i never will... and i see a crystal forming in the eye.. maybe THIS will be the last. the winding path down my face till i begin to taste the bitterness inside..

2006-05-26T18:52:00.000+08:00

oh wells.. today had GP mid year exam. hmm.. it was alright.. hope i can pass.. :) the GP exam sucked all my brain juice because after everything was over, i felt a bit giddy.. but was alright after a short while..

i hear something.. something is at my doorstep.. i open the door with much trepidation and to my surprise.. it's MR HOLIDAY! yay! finally it's here.. the long awaited month- JUNE! No more tired days.. no more panda eyes and no more crap from YS(suck to the core).. temporary.. but this holiday seems very packed and empty. I gotta start mugging for my O levels that i'm gonna retake.. handling the coming mid year exams and homework. But i still got some wish that i still waiting to be fulfill.. some plans that i have drawn up.. perhaps a 5 days study, 2 days play? haha..

Today went to my new house and got a few boxes of things to carry up with my dad.. chairs, small little tools and boxes and boxes of daily products that could still be stored.. Then after that, went to bukit panjang plaza alone to take a stroll, giving respite to the stress and problems in life.. Saw my 4 years secondary school english teacher, Ms sheila, sitting alone.. enjoying her finger licking good chicken wings at mos burger.. went in and chatted with her for a while without any hesitation.. ms sheila, take care of your eyes man.. you're tearing like so badly.. what a omg tearing impluse disorder.. Then, i couldn't believe my eyes.. today while i was on my way back from school, while i was about to alight, i saw zhiyang! woohoo.. he boarded the bus when i was about to alight.. damn..

didn't know that his head was so big.. lol!!

haha.. but then, so coincident.. i saw him again at bukit panjang plaza while i was walking to popular.. he was with another guy friend.. saw him in his green t-shirt and baggy light blue jeans.. walking side by side with his guy friend in a cool cool attitude with his pairs on hands stuffed into the deep pockets on his jeans.. i also caught him staring at me and when i looked at him, his eyes immediately shuns away.. haha.. of course not forgetting what i noticed.. while he was walking, i saw girls that walked pass him would sudden turn their head over and look at him again.. haha.. and girls having small little conversations, whispering into each other's ears.. and i happen to overhear one of their conversation.. "eh.. zhiyang leh! wah lao.. he so..." haha.. and another one.. " was that zhiyang? eh.. you all saw zhiyang or not? he's in this green colour t-shirt you know?" haha.. and when i came out of popular that time, another conversation i overheard," erm.. excuse me.. just now did u saw zhiyang? he's in a green colour t-shirt.. which direction did you see him going in?" omg.. jealous sia.. haha.. wadever lah..

Looking forward to the day i can go out with YOU again and also.. 24th June 2006.. Indoor stadium.. it's gonna rock my socks off!

embracing in the past is what i am left to do when i misses you so much.. being ambivalent was never me.. as such, my fidelity for you was never in question.. no matter how hard it would be, there would be an endeavor of mine, trying to glean new sights, which has always been a motive in my mind..

2006-05-17T17:24:00.000+08:00

Days past so slowly the days without the care and concern of yours. I think you're busy.. thats why but it's okay.. i'm still kicking! Sometimes i am wondering, it's been a while and there's this agonizing pain growing in my heart whenever those memories that's FULL of smiles , laughter, happiness were triggered just by that familiar scent. But now that seems so vivid and unreachable.. we can't seem to get back to those days anymore because those things that happened messed it all up. But I am still picking them up now and then.. Just to feel.

I don't mind waking up for you in the late night. I don't mind traveling from my house to yours. I don't mind getting scolded by him when i am forever on the phone with you. I don't mind singing for you over and over again. I don't mind.. i really don't... because you're always more than that.

ALL these, i won't lose grip and i am still holding on to it.. real tightly.. waiting..

anyway, this friday joining GTS for JJ TALENTINE @ NTU! Troubles aside as the fun sets in.

I've stretched the rubber band to the limit. I wanted so much more.. it couldn't take it and it snapped off my hands. Would it be as wonderful when there's a way to glue it back to perfection? I guess..

2006-05-12T18:34:00.000+08:00

Stabilizing might be good. I don know how much time it needs to kill but you wanted more time, have it. Those words still haunt me and I really don know what to do when I came across again and again thinking that i would have ways to help you put throught. It's so bad that now I've sort of forgotten the way you guffaw because I don't hear it from you anymore. Giving up has never been my intention but each time I tried to reach you, it seems like there's no reaction from you anymore. THAT little comment that you would normally give isn't there anymore. I can feel it and I know it.. I don't know whether you know I feel it or not. I'm starting to slow down, I think you're too.. Am I right?

This is a challenge, believe in me, we can make it. Let's walk side by side together through this okay? Remember, I'm still chained to you.

2006-05-02T17:19:00.000+08:00

What happened yesterday? Is it a bad day or a blessing in disguise for me yesterday? I don't know what happen. Firstly, I just miss her SO much. I really feel like calling her and talk with her over the phone but i think she's busy so i killed that thought. And i reached a point whereby all my thoughts was only her and the best part was.. I cried.. for YOU. I really miss YOU a lot a lot. I hope YOU see this.
Secondly, yesterday had a quarrel with my brother about that stupid sms thing.. Was really angry initially but i'm okay soon i call HIM and HER. They bought me joy and my smile came back again. Now thinking back whatever things i told my brother when i blow my top, i find that it's kinda foolish. He's my only brother, why so blown away by what he did? Forgive him, he is still young- thats what i told myself.

Didn't know i love my brother so much after we quarreled and for that, i forgave him. :)

Sorry for keeping you waiting over the phone and listening to all the unnecessary conversation that was unpleasant for you. I promise nothing like this will happen again okay? :) Yeah, indeed, we're good at sneaking a 10-inch pizza into the cinema. I wish to try that again. But, when's the next time? :D

I think i owe you something. I owe you me because you own me. :)

2006-04-30T14:21:00.000+08:00

i don know what to say about this but i know what i am doing. The feeling rocks.. It's almost like riding on a roller coaster but the fun we had was even more electrifying.. my heart raced non-stop and so does yours. It's just a trigger of emotions and we're there. It's that kind of fun that i never experienced before. Thanks for all this. If not for you, i don't know we can get this far.. i'll remember this forever..

I'm flying..

2006-04-25T22:07:00.000+08:00

You bought me a whole lot of emotions. My heart raced each time you told me things that i didn't expect from you and i am not afraid to tell people that i love you. I AM NOT ASHAME OF IT. You made me feel proud all the time being with you. The crazy laughter that you gave out each time i cracked a joke, the everlasting smile, the pair of shining watery eyes that seems like stars in the sky and many more, made up the indelible impression in me already. Don't look at that idyllic surface i present outside of me and thought nothing was wrong but when i look into your eyes, i am not what i am outside. I could only feel adrenaline running through my heart and see those endless images of your sweet smile appearing again and again in my mind that caught so much attention of my eyes and my heart. :)

Life's bad without you know? I wanna see you everyday..

2006-04-13T15:20:00.000+08:00

TO THAT SOMEONE WHOM I WANT TO MENTION:

You're my light that creeps into the darkness that i fell into. You're the one who catched me when i'm falling down. I always though there would be 2 sets of footprints as we bare foot and walked along the sandy coast. When i turned around to see the prints we left behind, i could only see a pair.. it's not because u left me.It's because you carried me throughout the journey we walked. Now we don't really see each other, i became like a bird without it's wings. Like a fire without it's flame and like a song without a soul. I can't tell how much i miss you but i can feel it.. it's a lot. Now what is left for us, is these memories.. thank you so much for telling me that you all are always behind me. I've never been so sure in my life, because i really do love you.

2006-04-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

Today was a great day for me.. i went back to jjc suppose to find teachers but in the end, i didn't manage to meet those teachers i wanted to see. So, i practically stayed in jj socialising with friends.. haha.. talking about those good old days we had during PAE. I didn't tell my friends that i'm coming back except for some. When i reached school, i messaged my friends: I am back! . But sad thing is most of them replied with: really? but i am having lessons now.. But then it's okay. I hang around for quiet a long while till i got to meet everyone.. haha.. when they saw me, they got this shocked and excited emotion on their faces. HAHA! and i waved back at them. And i won't forget this thing that i found out. One of my friends told me, "Gary, do you know that your reflection board has been sold to 2 of the OGLs, Michelle and Clara and they plan to give it to you?" I was in a state of shock because the impossible happened again. So, i got to meet one of them. Clara when to take the board and then she presented it to me. Then i was like wth.. She even took out a camera and asked another friend of mine to take a pic of she presenting the reflection board to me and it seems like a award ceremony or what.. haha.. but i felt very bad.. i don wan to accept such things from them lah.. like very not nice. So, i told her this, " Clara, firstly i want to thank you for doing such things for me. I really appreciate that. You see, this is what i wrote and these words are from me to JJ. You bought this board with my reflections on and you wanted to give it to me. To me, i find that that's like returning my words back to me and i don't want that. Instead, i would like to give it to both of you. It represent my small little blessing to you guys and those words from me should follow you guys." After that, i handled clara the money without any hesitation. And later, i found out that it was also her birthday today. So i told her," i just knew that i made the correct choice. May this reflection board be your birthday gift." haha.. she was eventually touched by that i think? haha.. then after that i started a series of crap with my friends till they asked me to stop.. haha.. then around near 5pm like that, went back with jun cheng, germaine, bo xiang a.k.a bobo, bell and aiting...

My fellow friends, if i don't get to meet you today, i'll meet you someday. Till then.. take care..

2006-04-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

today another exciting day. Met my secondary sch friends for lunch @ BPP's the cafe caterial(sorry if i mispelled it). i was the early bird. i was there at abt 12.45pm where we are suppose to meet at 1pm. In the end, everyone was late except for me, gin loen, mr ling, xinyuan and carrine and roy.. joel and junwei came later.. actually there's more coming but one of them sick, one of them working, one of them don wanna come and all sorts of reasons then nv come.. so sad.. something very funny happened at cafe caterial. We r given a few pieces of order form to place our orders. In the end, we pissed the staffs there because we wrote the wrong things at the wrong column. So funny la.. coz the one of the staff who serve us says, "erm.. i think u all call me back again after u all made up ur mind.." and after that, he left with a lol expression on his face.. lol.. something like :/ .. lol.. but heck care lah.. who cares.. lol.. then sat there and had our lunch and chat till abt 3 plus.Then me, joel, gin loen and jun wei decided to catch the movie, ULTRAVIOLET. We went to causeway and found out that there's a long que. So we decided to go JP instead. Luckily the advertisement all took abt 15 mins and the show start at 5pm.. haha.. let me tell u all something.. ULTRAVIOLET is a movie is made such that it's story line were made so sophiscated and at the end of the movie, none of us understand the movie except for joel.. lol.. Story is abt a experiemental virus made by the U.S scientist to make their troops stronger broke out and infected a lot of ppl. Those ppl were killed except for a lady who wasn't killed. That lady's baby i think, grew up and wanted to seek revenge. But in the end, she was touched by a human baby that was almost killed by her boss and showered the baby with motherly love. And the story goes on abt how she loves that human baby and blah blah.. but overall, with all the cool moves and fighting actions, i think this movie is worth watching. 2 THUMBS UP! yeah~. I suggest that if you guys wanna watch ULTRAVIOLET, do read up on it's movie review to get a better understanding of the movie. if not.. have fun lah.. haha..

And damn april fool's day.. i was fooled by 2 friends of mine. They sent me smses and shocked me lah.. The first message was sent by Carrie. Her message was something like why u give ppl my number blah blah and scolded me like that la... then other one from clara.. her message: call me. very urgent. i though wad happen, maybe she wants to talk to me so i called her. In the end, she told me to scroll down the message containing something so so crap. But anyway, i had fun in the end trying to trick ppl.. i have replies from don try to fool me to uh? ah? LOL.. i hope those ppl who receive my message don take it to heart.. it's only once in a year and let's have some fun okay? =)

2006-03-31T15:39:00.000+08:00

yay! finally weekend is here.. finally could get some rest after a hectic weekday i had.. been very busy for the past few days. Tuesday, i went back to jj for revelation.. after my sch @ 2.15pm, i immediately flagged for a taxi once i just step out of the sch gate and i went straight to jj.. When i got there with my yellow OGL tee, i saw the people mass dancing in the hall. Everyone was crazy except some of them, didn't want to participate. but heck care la, we enjoyed ourselves a lot and after that, we watched the videos we made for the campers. Family 1.. Family 2 then FINALLY FAMILY 3. i was very excited when we r gonna watch the video made by us. But one thing i was kinda sad abt.. i don know wad's wrong but then one part of our video got some errors then no sound.. then we were all like WTH!! where's the sound man? Then the video was boring at some part without sound.. then after all the exciting part, then the video start to have sound again.. then we all sian diao sia.. haha.. but one thing i am proud is that i was featured at the last part of the video.. damn not creative la but was one of the best endings of the video compared to the rest of the families.. whaha.. then after revelation, went to westmall with OG for dinner! it was a long time since we last gathered for a meal then we got a lot of crap and jokes to say to each other. Then those nonsense became nonstop. we talk talk talk all the way to zaewe's condo there.. we stayed there and talk talk talk again till we r being very suspicious. coz 20+ of us went to zaewe's condo poolside there talk then security guards keep on patrol around that area and kept an eye on us.. lol.. then abt 8 plus.. all of us went home.. sad la.. so fast need to part again.. don know went can see them again.. hope soon bah..

2006-03-23T19:07:00.000+08:00

I'll just have to move on and i just need to tell myself that. This is reality, nothing will change even though i rejected reality to be too reality for me.. In life, a seat belongs to everyone somewhere. Even though i can't get myself a seat there with my friends, but this 2 months is already exchangable for a 2 years worth experience there.

My friends in JJ, if you happen to see this post, please let me tell you thanks for every small little thing you all have done for me and i guess i need a plaster because i got myself injured everytime i fell in love with you all.. Mr Leow, thank you for sharing with me whatever you had shared with me. It's always great hanging out with you and the shadows. Let's have somemore outings in future okay? F3, OG27(PAE), OG 14(JAE), 06S03 and Teachers, Thank You ALL so much for being a mark on my memory.You all would be in a red chamber with heavy poundings- My Heart. The police came yesterday to my house because someone made a report to them that i was bullied. I told them nothing happened to me. Don't you all worry. I didn't tell the police that you all are such a bomb to me and you touched me without your bare hands. But with the most sincere words from you all.. Thank you all so much =)

MARCH 19 2006

2006-03-19T01:34:00.000+08:00

hmm.. how come i feel this way? jealous? why? Does it mean i still care? I don't know.. i thought it's already been so long and i still feel something. Is it good or bad? haiz.. leave it to fate bah..

2006-03-17T22:54:00.000+08:00

Today morning woke up so early and met up with my aunt at bukit panjang for breakfast. We eventually went to BP plaza's wang jiao and ate their kaya Loti.. wow.. indeed crispy man.. unforgettable eating experience.. then after that went to my aunt's house till now.. then while doing blog halfway, got a lot of problems.. thanks to jayne, she helped me out and got the problems solved.. then later i received a call from mr leow. He told me something that i was damn touched lah.. never had a man in my life told me such thing before.. but i was very glad to know mr leow better la.. i lend him a pair of listening ears and he lend his to me whenever it's needed.. haha.. but still, miss the days hanging out with friends in JJC.. really damn sad.. but anyway, was very glad that my blog was finally UP!! yay.. first time knew that blogging was a terrible process at first but.. it was very satisfying in the end.. =p

2006-03-12T11:36:00.000+08:00

hmm.. my new blog.. whahaha